Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be a major struggle. I could not count how many people I have spoken with that grapple with this and resistance to forgiving can be very strong (and this includes forgiving ourselves).

So let's think about it a little. Why do we hold on to hurts, go over them in our minds, and refuse to forgive?

Because we don't want to forget the hurt because that somehow protects us against future hurt?

Because we believe forgiving someone means condoning their behaviour towards us?

Because we want the other person to suffer as we have?

Because we want to be right?

Maybe all of the above?

So we hold onto the hurt, bury it in our bodies (to let it block our life-force), close our hearts and go over it in our minds (and let it make us bitter), ultimately hurting ourselves!! The choice not to forgive is ours but it comes with a price!

The choice to forgive is also ours and is a path to peace.

Forgiveness begins with a willingness to forgive. That's the first step. Being willing to leave the past in the past. Not dragging past hurts into our present moment with our mental focus, tainting our now moment with the baggage of bygones.

Next, work on catching yourself mentally going over things or thinking of how to get even with the person who offended you. When you catch yourself, say out loud "Let go".

Then, refocus onto the now moment: what can you see, hear, feel etc? What is good around you right now? (is it a bright, sunny day?, can you see a nice colour? can you hear birds outside?).

I encourage you to forgive, while you are alive. Don't carry resentment to your grave. Give up on getting even. Just let go now.

Forgiveness is a process. Make a start, keep at it, and little by little it will happen.