How to Manage Loneliness

Loneliness has become a major mental health issue in the past decade.  People are spending WAAAY more time interacting with their phones and computers than making connections with others in real life.  I have heard people complain that work colleagues in the same office send them an email to ask a simple question vs get up from their desk, walk over and ask it directly.   Friendships have become, in general, more digital and often we have fewer people who know us intimately – people we could call on if we are unwell or need practical help with something.  Dating has also largely moved to the digital world, and now we choose a potential mate by making  a selection from profile pictures and information on dating apps and going to meetups, vs the old way of loosely chatting with people at the pub, a live music event, or a quiz night, or a card game etc where there is no intensity  but offers the ability to quickly assess if you like the person’s personality and energy and if there is a spark of chemistry between you.  

Add to this the increase in working from home since the COVID epidemic.  It is convenient for many, but if you happen to live alone, you can go for days without talking to a person in real life.  What does that do to our souls?  Humans are not meant to be solitary.  We are essentially “pack animals” who have historically always dwelled in groups.   We thrive on doing things TOGETHER:  eating together, working together, playing together, helping each other, sharing resources etc. 

If you find yourself caught up in the loneliness epidemic, don’t despair – make a change today - starting with something small.  For example, go to the same coffee shop every morning and say good morning to the barista as you place your order.  You will quickly become a “regular” there and connections with the staff and other regular customers will start to grow.   Start saying good morning to the people you pass on your morning walk, and your neighbours and when you see them – ask how they are (and really be interested to know how they are).  Invite a neighbour or a work colleague over for a drink or a meal.  When you start giving/reaching out yourself you will start to operate as we humans were meant to – in connection with each other.